Sometimes it can be really hard

In comparison to normal people I do a lot of sports. I have a coach that I talk to every day about my training, progress and mental state and who takes this feedback into account to plan my training, what drills I should focus on etc. Every week I have a detailed training plan that I try to follow. Because one important thing in being good in your sport is consistency in your training.

However, a few days ago I got up to a training session that must have been one of my worst. I dragged myself out of the bed (I wasn't particularly tired), onto the bike (which is my new and shiny Grand Canyon 9.0 LTD Special Edition) and up the mountain (and the weather was even pretty OK, apart from extremely strong winds). I managed to get to the top and out of the wind. I started the first of 4 repeats of a 3min lactic acid treshhold climbing drill, and 40 seconds in, thinking I am dying with a 175bpm HR, I looked at the HR monitor and it said 155. Only 155bpm and I was dying!!! I could not believe it. I had no power, no motivation, nothing. Did not want to ride. Wanted to stop and sit down and cry and be picked up by my coach (I had the dignity not to ask him to do that). I gave up. Took my bike and went home. I was so down and disappointed with myself. Mentally drained of any motivation and power. I didn't even ride to work, but took the LUAS instead. Sometimes it can be soooo hard to keep going... Is it really worth it? Do I really want to put myself through all the pain and suffering? Do I really have what it takes?

But then again, a few days later I had a good training session. Went out on the bike, felt good, warm weather, bone dry trails, did my 4 x 3min VO2 max drill and did it well. Came home buzzing. It is on these days that I'm reminded how much I enjoy biking. And it's soooo good that the racing season is starting soon with the K Capital Cup Racing series. Finally I can see if all those hard earned pennies in the piggybank of winter training are paying off.